ttznovel Chapter 434: My body wants what it wants
Chapter 434: My body wants what it wants
"The fish is fine," Damar claimed, his tone entirely casual but his arm tightening just a fraction around my waist. "Come, let me take you for a walk."
I didn’t answer right away. I just kept staring at the doorway where Thalor had vanished.
The blue coral anchor on my wrist was practically throbbing against my pulse point, radiating a dull, aching heavy-heartedness that wasn’t mine.
He really thinks he’s just the backup plan, I thought, a sudden pang of guilt twisting in my chest.
"Go ahead, Damar," I murmured, gently patting his hand until he let go. "Get started on that northern stream. Try to catch more silver fish for me as well."
Damar looked at me, his emerald eyes scanning my face before he glanced toward the palace interior. He let out a low, accepting hiss.
"Don’t stress yourself, Ari. It’s bad for the little one." He kissed my cheek once more before gliding away to hunt down my bizarre arctic cravings.
I stood in the courtyard for a moment, watching the first real snow of the season begin to dance through the air, dusting the tops of the stone walls.
Did I love Thalor?
I slowly walked back inside, my feet heavy on the heated floors.
I thought about how he had looked at me when he came out of the sea to offer his life to me because I had saved him, how he followed me about, how he had a bizarre way of kissing my feet to show his devotion, and how he had literally wept into my lap when Kaito and Marina were born.
I thought about how naturally he had stepped into the role of a father even before his own children were conceived, how much I depended on his water powers and sharp mind to create drainage systems and pure drinking water sources, and how—without a single doubt—I would risk my own life to protect him.
Yeah. It was love. And it wasn’t just a physical reaction to a rut or a forced situation because I had a thing for handsome men with great bodies. Or that I realized he was a fated mate who could sniff out my scent.
I loved the stubborn, poetic, aristocratic fish. I just... hadn’t actually said it out loud to him yet.
With the triplets, the twins, the appearance of the tigers, all these immigrants, and my body currently behaving like a chaotic science experiment, I had completely left him in the dark.
I should fix this and reassure him that he isn’t a last option, or that he was the one who got me pregnant just because it was his turn at the moment.
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about this tiger body of mine, it’s that it’s very selective.
Remember during the triplets pregnancy, it could’ve made due with just Damar and Fenric, but my body was searching for one more strong compatible male to include in the genes.
It wants what it wants.
So during his rut, I could’ve stopped him because my body wasn’t feeling him and looked for another male that my body wanted but I didn’t. I just wanted him even more, craved for his sperm, craved for his everything.
My body genuinely wanted him.
And just look at how my body specifically wanted Damar this time. While the others did it with me during the rut, it specifically picked Damar’s sperm to breed me. Isn’t that ridiculous?
Well, the fact stands.
He wasn’t a last resort mate. He was my fourth mate, but he was just as important as the others to me. If anything happened to him, I would lose my mind.
Later that evening, after the palace had settled into a quiet, snowy hush, I made my way down to the private nursery pool.
The room was warm, the air thick with the gentle, humid scent of salt-water and clean linen. The central basin was glowing with that beautiful, bioluminescent blue light that Thalor always summoned when he wanted to soothe the newborns.
I pushed the door open quietly.
Thalor was in the water, his human legs replaced by that magnificent, shimmering purple tail. He was floating on his back, his long wavy hair fanning out like silk thread around him.
Resting safely on his broad chest were Kaito and Marina. At four months old, those two were already swimming like absolute pros, their tiny, pale legs kicking beneath the surface while their silver scales glinted under the water.
Marina let out a tiny, delighted chirp, slapping her hand against Thalor’s chin. He caught her little wrist, a soft, tired smile gracing his features as he kissed her palm.
He looked so peaceful, but the second the anchor on my wrist flared with a warmth, his violet eyes snapped to the doorway. The peaceful look vanished, replaced by a guarded, slightly awkward mask.
"Arinya," he said, adjusting the babies so he could sit upright in the water. "Shouldn’t you be resting? Damar isn’t here."
"I know. I’m not here for Damar, obviously." I said softly.
I walked over to the lip of the pool, kicked off my boots and dipped my bare feet into the lukewarm, glowing water. The transition from the cool room to the warm water made me sigh.
"The babies look happy."
"They are." Thalor murmured, his tone polite but distinctly distant. "They love it when we play in the water." He kept his eyes on Kaito, who was currently trying to use his father’s fins as a chew toy. "They grow stronger every day. You don’t have to worry about them handling the winter."
"I’m not worried about them, Thalor," I said, leaning forward slightly and resting my elbows on my knees. I looked at him, forcing him to meet my eyes. "I’m worried about you."
He flinched, his tail giving a subtle, defensive twitch beneath the surface. "There is no need. The mer-folk are assisting with trade and are—"
"Thalor," I interrupted gently, my voice cutting through his formal defense. "Am I good to you?"